brokenhearted rant much?

Don't you realize?! Haven't you ever fucking realized?!

I LOVE YOU!!

... and I hate it.

I don't remember the last time I fell asleep with a dry pillow, or without waking up with you on my mind... I thought I had convinced myself that I was over you, but it became obvious to me when I woke up in tears, and started to bawl like a baby when our song came on the radio.

There was nothing like us, and now there's just nothing.

I am so fucking stupid... I hate myself! I really do... and honestly, it's scary. I promise I won't hurt myself though... But it doesn't stop the butterflies. The little black ones on my wrist. The ones that represent every time I've wanted to cut, or jump off a rooftop, or crash my car... You just don't understand, and you don't care. That's killing me more than anything I could ever do...

... I want you back so badly. I want to go back in time and take everything back. I want to erase my mistakes... or my mind. If I could run away and forget you, I would. I would move on and be happy, but I can't! I've tried everything! I've drank, I've smoked, I've read, I've written, I've cried, I've yelled, I've stopped eating, I've eaten everything, I've listened to music, I've talked to my friends, and I've hidden everything. I've even been in someone else's bed... But no one is you. No one will ever replace you... We were so perfect, and I just want you to see that!! I want you to want me as badly as I fucking want you!! I want you to feel the pain I'm feeling! I want you to hate yourself and want nothing more than to stop breathing!! I want you to sit and watch as I move on and fall in love and totally disregard your fucking emotions!! ... Hhhhh... I want you to be as passionate about me as I am about you. I want you to forgive me... and love me again.

... I wish I could give you what you deserve.

Nothing can make me feel like you do... I will never find a love like that again.

... I hate myself so much.

I gave you everything! What the hell?!

God, I hate myself so fucking much :/

Please... Please love me again... Please :'(