You're my world; I love my friends.

Lately I have just been so caught up on myself, and my life, and thinking about how much it sucks. I realized that I need to stop. If I keep whining and complaining and sulking like this, I'm going to push away all who I love.

My friends don't realize it, but I depend on them.

I depend on Lauren's mothering, because I don't really have a mom there to do that for me.

I depend on Miranda's humor, because I can always use a laugh.

I depend on Colby laughing at me, because it makes me feel good to know I can make someone smile.

I depend on Andrea's epic vocabulary and sick art skills, because not only does it bring me down to earth, but amazes me!

I depend on Matt's realistic outlook on life, because sometimes I just need a smack in the head telling me what I'm doing or saying wrong.

And I depend on David's affection, attention, admiration, compassion, commitment, and friendship, because without him I would have completely lost myself by now.

I didn't really notice it myself until I just sat and thought about everything. Not only that bad things, but the good things too. And yeah, it is so much easier to point out the bad things, but there are so many good things too.

I have a job! And an amazing house, and the worlds greatest guy.♥ I have friends that almost always drop what they're doing to help me out when things at home get unbearable. I'm healthy(ish) ... I actually have this sinus thing that's going around... Ew. ... And I have a bright future ahead of me.
Yeah yeah, so we're broke. I'm probably not going to get anything from Christmas. And sure, it sucks that my mom is never home, and that my dad is an epic dickhead, but there isn't anything I can do about it. And I think what has really been effecting me is that I can't do anything about it. I am only seventeen years old, and I can't change the world. I can't make all the bad memories go away, or erase my shitty past. All I can do is hope for a fruitful future. A future filled with happy memories, great achievements, and lucky guesses.

I'm a sad little gingersnap, but there's hope in the eyes of my friends.♥

I love you guys!